Philippine Trip, Episode 14

As I mentioned in Episode 13, the Lord in a new way opened my eyes and broke my heart with the overwhelming need of the poor.

I also was challenged anew, as I observed the lives and ministries of Philip, Romy and Boni. I along with Gene Tabor and other Navigator missionaries invested our lives into the lives of a few men. Of course, there were many others who ministered to them as well. But these men, in a special way, were the men that God had entrusted to us. God was faithful in answering our prayers as He did Jesus' prayer in John 17 just before returning to the Father "Holy Father, keep the men you gave me by your power that they may be one, as we are one...I am not only praying for these men but for all those who will believe in me through their message, that they may all be one. Just as you Father, live in me and I live in you, I am asking that they may live in us, and that the world may believe that you sent me..." Jesus not only preached to the masses, healed the sick, cast out demons, showed people the way back to the Father etc., but He also invested His life into the lives of twelve men that His Father had entrusted to Him. Through these twelve men, the known world was reached with the good news. In fact, Paul was able to say to the church at Thessalonica that the good news of the gospel had so impacted their area of the world that Paul didn't have to say anything. There is no investment greater than investing ones life into the lives a few individuals.

Spending time with Philip, Romy and Boni has put a new fire in my belly (at least initially) to mentor people once again. The question that I am asking myself these days is, "Should this be a focus in my life now? To be honest, since returning from the Philippines this desire fluctuates between a 0 and 5 on a ten point scale. Questions continually come up, which are, without doubt, from the enemy. “You’re too old? It's been a long long time since you've discipled and mentored any one. You’re out of touch with the culture, you don't have the energy you once had, you have a right to retire and become an observer rather than a participator." If this is true, what is the purpose of living a few more years?

I can't believe I wrote this last paragraph! What I've just written sounds a "bit" morbid, depressing and defeating. I was about to rewrite it, to make it sound more "spiritual". But the Lord seemed to say, "no". "Be honest about your thoughts and feelings when you're in a down period." Also, this last paragraph reveals that I have not yet broken a faulty ministry model that has been a part of my DNA for so many years, which is, a follower of Christ must aggressively share Him with others. The word "aggressive" in this context, is often associated with words like strategy, programs, projects etc. And unless a disciple is committed and giving time to these programs and projects, he or she is neglecting his or her responsibility. Not necessarily. God certainly raises up strategist to advance the Kingdom of God, those who can read the signs of the time, who can foresee the future, and then develop programs to meet the need. The Lord certainly equips and empowers many to aggressively share Christ with others. Being an A type personality, such an approach has always been appealing to me but somewhat stressful. As I mentioned in Episode 9, Boni Arzadon is one who not only takes every opportunity to share Christ, he aggressively makes opportunities. He thrives on such an aggressive approach. “God, raise up more Boni's”. He's a tremendous challenge. But let's not attempt to put everyone in the same mold. Just as every snow flake is different, so God has uniquely made each of us from a different mold and has a unique ministry that perfectly fits us

I am challenged with the spontaneity and naturalness of Jesus' ministry. It wasn’t dependent on His ingenuity or well defined programs and projects. He simply went about doing good. And as hurting people came across His path, He ministered to them. It wasn’t forced. It was natural. For example, Jesus was invited to have dinner with a tax collector and his friends. He ministered to them as questions were asked. As He was passing through Samaria, a Samaritan women “happened” to come to draw water from the well where Jesus was resting. Through conversing with her and having a word of knowledge she and her entire village came to believe in Him. As Jesus was entering Jericho, he sees a wee little man, Zacchaeus, a Jew and a corrupt tax collector who had become rich. He had probably been excommunicated by his own people because of his crafty dealings with them. He was a reject. Being short in statue, Zaccheaus climbs a sycamore tree to see Jesus. Jesus sees him, acknowledges and affirms him as a friend by inviting him to dinner, probably an invitation that none of his people had ever done. Through this simple act of acceptance and affirmation, Zacchaeus life was changed and he and his entire household believed in Christ. I am praying that the last years of my ministry will be characterized by such simplicity.

The foundation of Jesus life and ministry was His total dependence upon Aba, His heavenly Father. John 5:19 bears this out. "Jesus said to them, “Very truly, I tell you, the Son can do nothing on his own, but only what he sees the Father doing; for whatever the Father does, the Son does likewise." There was an intimate union between the Father and the Son, enabling Jesus to hear His Father's voice, to see what He would do in a given situation and then to walk in it. We too are totally dependent upon our union and intimate relationship with Jesus to minister to others. Jesus says to us, “I am the vine, you are the branches. He who abides in Me, and I in him, bears much fruit; for without Me you can do nothing." With the remainder of my time on earth I want to know Him more intimately, hear His voice more clearly, walk in His ways more obediently, and share Him with others naturally and spontaneously.

The last fourteen months, since Mary went Home, has been a time of joy and thanksgiving mixed with sorrow, loneliness, and some depression. I want to learn to graciously accept and even embrace the totality of my life when times are good and when times are “bad”. Life is full of unanswerable questions, paradoxes and even seeming contradictions. But our God reigns! He is in control. I can trust Him because He is good and loves me unconditionally.

While Mary was still around, needing my constant help, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was doing the will of my Father. For the most part, I felt fulfilled and privileged to care for Mary for so many years. But now in a sense, I’m facing a new life. Things are different. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, Blessed be the Name of the Lord!

Where do I go and what should I do from here? Perhaps, that's a wrong question to ask right now. I need to apply the truths expressed above--trust Him, be sensitive to His voice and let Him lead one step at a time. Jesus seems to be saying to me what He said to Martha who was distraught with her sister, Mary, who was sitting at Jesus feet, hanging on His every word and adoring Him, while Martha was frantically serving Jesus. Luke 10:38-42(NLT) "As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem they came to a village where a woman named Martha welcomed them into her home. Her sister Mary sat on the floor, listening intently to Jesus as he talked. But Martha was the jittery type and was worrying over the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Sir, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits (at your feet) while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.” But the Lord said to her, “Martha, dear friend, you are so upset over all these details! There is really only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it—and I won’t take it away from her!”

There is one thing that is needful for me, that is imperative, especially at this season in life. It’s this—to continually live in His presence, to hang on His every word, to hear his voice, to walk in His ways and to worship Him. In other words, to find my complete identity in Him alone--not in my wife, Mary, who is now with Him, not in past achievements, not in my ministry, not in my successes or failures, not in how well I perform or how much I blow it. He is enough! What is my identity? Who am I? “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is for me." (Song of Solomon 7:10) I would appreciate your prayers during this time of transition. Thanks

The End