Philippine Trip - Episode 12

I mentioned in Episode 1 that my three week visit to the Philippines was a time of great challenge and reassessment of my own life as it relates to the Kingdom of God. Before sharing some of the challenges and things I’m working through, I would like to give tribute and honor to my beloved wife, Mary, who loving co-labored with me for fifty five years.

My time in the Philippines was a mixture of great joy and deep sorrow. From a human perspective, how wonderful it would have been if Mary and I could have shared this glorious occasion together. Perhaps, she was sharing it with me up there.

July 26, 2008 was Mary’s Coronation Day after a 15 year courageous bout with Alzheimer. Heaven is no longer an abstract place to me, but is more and more becoming a present reality. I along with the Apostle Paul can honestly say that there is a longing “to be absent from the body so that I can be present with the Lord” and with my dear wife and my identical twin brother Dean, but not until God has finished the work He wants to accomplish in me and through me.

On December 20, 1953, Mary and I promised to love each other in good times and in “bad” times until death due us part. We had the privilege of having this promise tested over 55 years, especially during the last 15 years of Alzheimer. I can honestly say that my love for Mary grew immensely during those last years. There are many qualities that God over the years had built into Mary’s life. The three that predominately stand out to me are the following:

1. Mary had a servant heart.

It was a quality that God had built into her life. She loved to serve people. When she was still somewhat coherent but was totally dependent on me to meet her needs, she would often say, “I’m sorry, honey, that I can’t help you. I don’t want you do all the work.” I’d embrace her and say, “Sweetheart, you have loved and served me faithfully for fifty years and now I have the wonderful privilege to serve you. So relax and enjoy it.” And she would smile and say, “Thanks, honey.” She never lost this Christ-like servant quality even during the last years of total confusion. She constantly wanted to help the aids and nurses in the nursing home, to share her food with those at her table. One day when I arrived at the nursing home, the nurse on duty asked me, “Do you have a dog at home by the name of Zeke. When I told her that Zeke was member of our family up until six months ago she chuckled and replied, “Mary left food on her plate and we encouraged her to eat the remainder. She emphatically said, NO! I’m saving it for Zeke.” There is no one I have met that embraced and practiced Phil. 2:2,3 more than Mary(Of course I am a bit bias). “Look not only to your own interest but also to the interest of others…Esteem others better than yourself,” She focused on the needs of people around her. It wasn’t forced but it flowed from the core of her life.

2. She had a very simple trust in the Lord, a rock solid trust in the one she loved and adored.

Mary was not a complicated person as I tend to be. She didn’t have to have all the answers to the big problems and paradoxes in life. At times I would be struggling with a problem in my own life or ministry. She would simply say, “Honey, let’s trust the Lord. Let’s commit it to Him. He has the answer.” It wasn’t said in a judgmental way. Her calm and confident spirit, breathed life, encouragement and affirmation into the situation. From a human perspective, God used Mary as the stabilizer in my life.

3. Mary had a passion to seek the Lord, to know Him more intimately.

One of her favorite passages was Psalm 63 which she had memorized many years ago. Many times in the nursing home we would quote it together from memory. “O God, you are my God, early will I seek You. My soul thirst for You. My flesh longs for you in a dry and thirsty land where no water is, to see your power and glory…..Because your living kindness is better than life my lips shall praise you….” (Read the rest of the chapter. It vividly describes the heart of a person who is truly seeking and experiencing the intimacy of the Father). Alzheimer for the most part did not steel from her the verses in Scripture or the hymns and choruses she had memorized.

Her two life verses were Philippians 3:10 and Psalm 27:4. “That I my know Him (Christ) and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of His suffering being made conformable unto His death.” (Philippians 3:10) And Psalm 27:4, “One thing have I desired of the Lord, that will I seek after that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to behold His beauty and to inquire in His temple.” (Psalm 27:4) Mary’s longing to know Christ more intimately, to behold His beauty, to inquire of Him has come to full fruition. Death for Mary, was not an enemy but a friend. It was simply a doorway into a life that can’t be described with human words. “Eye has not seen or heard what God has prepared for those who love Him” Mary’s eyes and ears were fully opened July 26, 2008. It was Mary’s Coronation Day, a day of Celebration.

Who can find a Virtuous and Capable wife?

“She is more precious than Rubies. Her husband trusts her and she will greatly enrich his life.
She brings him good, not harm all the days of her life. Her children stand and bless her. Her husband praises her. There are many virtuous and capable women in the world but you, Mary, surpass them all.” Proverbs 31:10,11,28,29 NLT

Next: Challenges and closing thoughts